i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
