the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
is that a dick in a sweater?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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