I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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