I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
