I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
