And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
