You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
