____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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