i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
