i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
please come you make the beer taste better
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
