what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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