So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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