I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My hand turned me down
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
