You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
