my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you will always have a special place in my vag
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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