No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
