Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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