Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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