Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
