exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish you could order shots online.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
