I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
