just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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