My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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