and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
