a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This is the high leading the old right now
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
