YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
