I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
