redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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