i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
