dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
