New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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