Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
