I'm gonna have a badass scar
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize