naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
