Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize