I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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