Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
