I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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