I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You're like the curious george of whores
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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