Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
