I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
