Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You pole danced in your parka.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just pee around me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
