your room smells of hookers.
And success
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
