sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
