i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
