Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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