My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She's the barista slut.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just invented taco cereal.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize