sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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