And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize