she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
