if you like me you must not know who I am
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
