he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
this is an emotional support booty call
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize