come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize