I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
