If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
