I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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