Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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