Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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