Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
