Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
