Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
