Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
this will be a night to untag.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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