There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
