you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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