3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
